1981 I guess. Can’t remember too much but I had been waiting on tables somewhere and a coworker suggested we head to a strip club. Never having been in one I went along, not wanting to appear chicken.

It was just as sleazy, dark and lugubrious as I had imagined. Candles on the tables in red, artichoke-shaped vases, strippers on small stages with visible track marks on their skinny thighs.

The main attraction of the joint was being able to drink after all else was closed. So I drank and got drunk.

At one point I stumbled into the men’s toilets and pissed. Besides the wash basin was a battered vending machine that sold “cologne”. It cost a quarter. Intrigued, I slipped a coin into the slot. I couldn’t understand how they were going to administer the scent and I imagined it would fall out of a tray in a very small vial.

Curious, I leaned in and studied the machine. The only instruction was to press a button. So I pushed it hard and a spray of cheap perfume shot out of a nozzle and right into my eyes.